The Diaries of Sara Richman Harris
Page 1 (Transcribed by Anita M. Harris)
Friday August 7th or so 1941.
This begins a new chapter a chapter of which I shall keep a record.
Tonight I decided to learn how to play the piano. I hope that is possible. It would be wonderful to play unique tunes– to be able to express my emotions through the notes of the great composers.
At the same time. I want to learn how to express myself through ART– through colors and through clay. Self-expression is perhaps the basic essential to a well-rounded personality. Almost everyone has some talent but too few people attempt to develop themselves. There are so many things that I want to do that I feel that if I can do one thing, then I have accomplished.
This summer is the mastery of the automobile. I feel that I have learned how to handle a car in any situation. It is unfortunate that the learning was accompanied by so much derision, but people are very cruel. They forget that learning to drive, like learning to do anything else, is a tedious process and one that is accompanied by some difficulty. Learning to drive and learning to love are both accompanied by awkwardness and misjudgments. The second is of course much more difficult.
In the first, the only obstacles to be overcome are mainly physical, mainly concrete: the car, the road, other cars, starting and reversing. But a love situation is much more difficult.
One has two variables: oneself, the first. The second: another or others.
In the process of growing up, one’s ideas change radically. Originally, physical attraction is the main criterion. One falls in love with any or all men who appeal purely physically. This is the adolescent stage. T oo many people reach this stage and do not pass beyond it .. It is on this stage that movies are based, upon which the Americans home and family are built.
After this stage so much more is desired. That one’s ideals are set very high– understanding and intellect and compatibility are the criteria. Physical attraction is a minor issue, although it plays an important part.
One becomes more tolerant as one grows older– more relaxed and less serious. One has built a shell to protect oneself, a shell that one hates to leave behind. My protection is disorderliness– a life full of so many interests that if the need arises I can forget myself, my desires. and join my wagon to a great many others.
I’m glad that I tried to write lyrics for the musical. I’m sorry, that Saul resented my doing so and would not let me try more. The lyrics are not good, but they are not so bad. They came easily to me and have promise. It was a convenient method of experiencing myself. I guess I guess that I am an eternal optimist.